Why Faking It Until You Make It Is the Worst Leadership Advice (and What to Do Instead)

The world doesn’t need your show. (Seriously, we’ve seen enough.) It’s exhausting and stressful, and frankly, your team can see through it anyway.

Time to make over your leadership stage presence.  

“Fake it till you make it” is still popular advice, but who are you fooling?  It’s like those Instagram influencers who rent Lamborghinis just for photoshoots. They’re one exposé away from embarrassment. Your credibility as a leader works the same way—built slowly but lost fast.

Here’s why faking confidence as a leadership strategy is a bad idea for your current job and your career prospects—and what you can do instead.

The Myth of Fake Confidence

Maybe you’ve heard that projecting confidence, even if you're uncertain, builds respect. The problem is your team can smell fake confidence faster than Sally’s leftover fish warming up in the office kitchen microwave. (You know the smell.) And when they sense you're pretending, their trust vanishes quickly.  The eye rolling you hear (ok…sense) is real.  

According to a recent Gallup survey, 86% of employees prefer leaders who are openly transparent over those trying to appear perfect (Gallup, 2023). Fake confidence signals insecurity. And insecurity isn’t exactly inspiring.

That’s not to say that confidence isn’t helpful. But true confidence comes from honesty about what you know and, more importantly, what you don’t. Your team needs clarity, not bravado.

This reminds me of the rise and fall of influencer Andrew Tate. Millions followed his confident image—until they realized much of it wasn’t real. People hate feeling deceived, whether by influencers or their leaders.

Authenticity Builds Instant Credibility

Imagine a CEO named Laura stepping into her new role at a midsize marketing agency that was facing serious headwinds.  Both client retention and employee morale were bottoming out. Initially, Laura projected unwavering confidence, reassuring her staff that everything was firmly on track—even when it wasn't–and everything would be okay.  Rather than inspiring her team, they rolled their eyes, got to work updating their CVs, and didn’t give her or the company a second thought.  

Recognizing her mistake, Laura decided to recalibrate. At the next monthly town hall, she spilled the tea: the company's strategy wasn't working and shared her uncertainty about the next steps. Then, rather than dictating a solution, she asked the employees to share their thoughts and ideas openly.

Naturally, the room was quiet and uneasy. But gradually, one manager spoke up about challenges within their department. Another employee highlighted an overlooked client concern. Soon, the meeting transformed into a genuine dialogue. By the end, Laura and her team collaboratively outlined a few key areas needing immediate attention.  It was a start.

In the following months, Laura's new approach had a profound effect. Employees felt heard, respected, and genuinely involved in shaping the company's future. Morale steadily climbed, productivity improved, and client relationships strengthened significantly, leading to measurable growth in revenue.  

Sounds like engagement, no?  This is a GOOD thing.  

Laura's experience illustrates that vulnerable trust and open leadership fosters psychological safety, empowering teams to perform at their best. Genuine openness invites employees to be honest in return, forming the foundation of strong, effective, and credible leadership.

And the best people stay.  Bonus!

Three Quick Tips for Shifting to Authentic Leadership

Ready to stop pretending? Here's how:

1. Admit What You Don’t Know…You Won’t Die

You're human. Act accordingly. Next time you face a question you can’t answer, simply say, “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out.” This honesty instantly boosts your credibility.

2. Give Your Team Permission to See the Real You

If you've had a bad day, it’s okay to say it. A leader who openly acknowledges struggles is relatable. Employees who see you as approachable will communicate openly and perform better. You don’t have to share every detail of your weekend, but being human, and dare I say it - likable - creates stronger relationships.

3. Reward Authenticity in Others

Teams mirror back what they experience, and they prefer rewards over punishment or being treated as if they don’t matter.. If you want openness from your employees, reward it explicitly. Make it ok to make mistakes, ask tough questions, and challenge conventional thinking. When authenticity is rewarded, it becomes the norm—not the exception.

Imagine the team culture you'd create if everyone felt comfortable being genuine. A culture like that is contagious, spreading through the workplace faster than office gossip (but with better results).

“Contagious” isn’t a word often associated with something good, so lean into it here, ok?  

Why Credible Leadership Matters for Your Bottom Line

Let’s be practical for a moment: purity in behavior and leadership doesn't just feel good emotionally. It’s financially beneficial. Companies where leaders foster trust consistently outperform their peers. According to recent Edelman research, high-trust companies outperform competitors by nearly 300% in total shareholder returns (Edelman Trust Barometer, 2024).

Leaders who fake confidence, meanwhile, breed uncertainty and anxiety, lowering productivity. Employees who feel safe and trusted deliver better results. Approachable, transparent leadership pays off—literally.

Pop Culture Insight: Why Ted Lasso Got It Right

You’ve probably seen Ted Lasso. Ted doesn’t pretend he’s the best soccer coach—he openly admits he knows very little about the sport. His humility is cringeworthy.  But Ted's players grow to trust him completely because he’s human and sincere. By admitting weaknesses upfront, he creates space for genuine connections and trust-building (IMDb, Ted Lasso).

Ted shows that great leadership is about character, not bravado.

Be a Ted—your team will thank you.

Wrapping It Up: Authenticity Is the Real Secret to Leadership Success

Are you a trained actor?  I understand that acting full-time is pretty exhausting. It wears down emotional energy and even hurts relationships.  

Why would you want to do that to yourself?

Reliable leadership that is forthcoming and clear,  meanwhile, builds genuine trust. It boosts morale, engagement, and productivity. It’s better for your mental health too. Imagine leading without the pressure of pretending. It’s possible, and it starts today.