Stop Doing What You Don’t Want to Do — And See What Happens

You know how sometimes, you catch yourself mid-thought and think, “What the hell am I even doing?” That was me, for way too long. I mean, I was in it. Stuck in my own head, convinced that the worst possible thing was bound to happen if I tried anything new. I'd tell myself, "This won’t just fail; it'll crash, burn, and everyone will be pointing and laughing." So, I’d avoid the thing altogether and pretend I was cool with it. But really, I wasn’t doing anything but playing it safe—miserably safe.

Here’s what finally broke me: it hurt more to not try something new than to just go for it and screw up along the way. Staying in that cramped mental corner was suffocating. So, I decided to just stop. I stopped thinking about how the world would implode if I put my ideas out there. I stopped assuming failure was a foregone conclusion. I stopped caring about what people thought—mostly because their opinions never really mattered in the first place.

And the aftermath? There wasn’t one. Just me, doing what I wanted, being myself—provocative, polarizing, and all. Sure, some people didn’t get it. But I was lighter, free from that damn mental anchor. It’s funny how once you decide to stop holding yourself back, things start happening. No secret formula, no profound breakthrough—just the absence of BS.

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The Benefits Aren’t Complicated

I know it sounds like some Instagram meme: “Stop doing what hurts, start doing what works.” But honestly? It’s true. I realized that the real problem wasn’t external. It wasn’t some cosmic force plotting against me. It was in my own head—a mental block I’d built brick by brick. And once I knocked it down, the benefits were immediate. It wasn’t about grand successes or applause. It was about feeling lighter and more in control of my life. I didn’t need to impress anyone; I just needed to stop not trying.

I see this with clients too. I’ll tell them, “Why not just stop doing the thing that’s making you miserable and see what happens?” Most of them stare at me like I’ve just handed them the keys to some hidden world they didn’t know existed. They’re not resistant; they just never considered it an option. Stopping isn’t quitting—it’s giving yourself a chance to see what’s on the other side.

The Hardest Thing to Let Go

The hardest thing I had to stop doing? Expecting people or situations to meet my sky-high demands. I’m not talking about hope—I’m talking about the kind of expectation that’s a bit… dramatic. Like, “If this doesn’t work out the way I want, I might just die.” It was exhausting. Every unmet expectation felt like a personal betrayal.

So, I started asking myself some pretty blunt questions: Is this worth the mental energy? Will I even care about this tomorrow, next week, or next month? And you know what? Most of the time, the answer was “no.” I realized how much brain space I’d been wasting on things that didn’t really matter. Once I let go of all that unnecessary clutter, the resentment and anger just… evaporated.

Self-Awareness: The Real Game-Changer

If we’re being real here (and I know I can be with you), there were three big things I had to get honest about to make real changes in my life:

1. I was narcissistic. Not the flashy kind. More like, “I’ve been through so much that I deserve something for my suffering.” I made everything personal, which was insane because it only hurt me. I’d make myself physically sick—like, literally vomiting in the car before work.
2. I was carrying too much weight. I wasn’t going to get what I wanted out of life or my career while I was stuck in a 310-pound body. I wasn’t eating to live; I was eating for comfort, over and over again. I had to confront why I was doing it and take real steps to get away from that mess.
3. I was abusing alcohol. I used it to forget the crap I couldn’t face, until drinking became its own form of crap. It was all fun and games until I was in the middle of everything going wrong, all the time.

These realizations reshaped how I see coaching, and life in general. If you want to make room for something better, you’ve got to first clear out what’s rotting inside. It’s not just about avoiding change—it’s about making change yourchoice.

Stop or Don’t: It’s Your Call

I get that stopping something cold turkey can feel harsh. It feels abrupt, and people think it’s too unrealistic. But the truth is, you won’t do it until you’re ready. When the pain becomes too much, when the discomfort outweighs the fear of change, that’s when you’ll actually stop. It’s like finding a worm in your head that you suddenly can’t wait to squash. And when you do? It’s almost comically simple. The relief is immediate.

No Unintended Consequences—Just Adjustment

Stopping a behavior has never really caused me any unintended consequences. Sure, there were moments where I thought there might be repercussions. But really, it was just my mind adjusting to a new reality. You know that feeling when you realize a panic attack won’t actually kill you? That’s how stopping feels. It’s uncomfortable, sure. But it’s also temporary, and you learn to adapt.

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The Takeaway

So, here’s what I know: the best way to stop doing what you don’t want to do is… to just stop. You don’t need to have a grand plan or a detailed strategy. Just take the leap. It’s not about quitting; it’s about creating space for something better to take root. Life’s too short to be paralyzed by fear or locked into self-sabotage. You’re the one in control. And if you don’t like something, you can always just stop it—and see how it goes.

Now, go do it. You’ve got this.

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